An Open Letter to Ross Sawyers
September 29, 2008
Hello Mr. Sawyers,
I hope you had a safe trip to California. I hear there is gold in them hills. A pair of Levi Strauss overalls and some chewing tobacco, you will fit right in. The trick is learning how to tell the difference between gold and iron-pyrite. Gold is more mailable, and I believe iron-pyrite responds to magnets, but that may be only if the iron has been polarized. Don’t try to bite anything, because it will ruin your teeth, and the last thing anyone needs is an angry dentist.
And don’t spend too much time in the sun. That hole in the ozone lets foreign government to control your thoughts. Beware of the Dutch.